A bunch of years ago Tim Commerford bought or wanted to buy a bike from the company I worked for at the time. Not many people know his name, but he was the bass player for Rage Against the Machine, for which I have a lot of respect as a band. At the time, people brought my attention to his tributes to bike gear in the “thanks” section of cd jackets (remember them?). So I was thinking maybe I can help bro out, expedite his order and maybe get some tickets or passes or something. Anyway, we make contact and he got a bike (there was a waiting list that got skirted to get it to him asap). He had some issues with the bike, nothing big mind you, which I attempted to remedy the “expedited” way by just dealing with it personally instead of thru the proper channels, but I neglected to loctite the bolts used in the assembly. 
Update: This link: http://vimeo.com/6496712
The Celebrity Hookup (part 1)
Sometime between him getting the bike and when the issue came up, Lollapalooza came to town, and Tim had put two tickets on will call for me (unfortunately it was to see Audioslave which he played bass in). I had high hopes for the tickets, but they were fairly lame seats, like 35 rows back or something – but granted it wasn’t lawn seats. But that was it, no real bro, not a meet-up, no passes. A $100 value that he didn’t have to pay for. (hence the “we want it for free” post here). Jane’s Addiction was the headliner, which I had to walk out of after 3 songs. Washed up pricks that were just horrible. Anyway, Tim called me a week later, basically freaking the fuck out about the issue again, and how bad the bike was and that this was a huge flaw and on and on because my un-loctited bolts had fallen out. The call was on my cell phone, and I’m pretty sure I was doing something more enjoyable than getting bitched out by bass player who “wants it for free” on the other end. I ended up explaining my error, which didn’t affect his little rock-star brain, and kept bitching like a, well, bitch. I told him point blank that if he wanted to have a phone number to bitch at someone, he’d have to call customer service and get his shit in the same un-expedited non-special fashion as everyone else. And basically that I didn’t want to deal with his shit anymore.
So anyway, I heard later that he hit up other companies as well for this “special” treatment cuz’ he’s such a big rock star. So you make a bunch of fucking money for being around Zack and Tom when things were going well, and for this you want a free fucking bike? Ever consider that small bike companies (while definitely appreciating the business) have only so many sponsorship dollars to give out, and you are taking it from some 16 year old trying to race and do something with his life? Sure, we smile and try to pacify you, but seriously dude.
Since then I paid attention to this more, and it seems like rockers seem to want shit for free, while actors seem OK with buying their bikes. Maybe its like Zappa said, bass players are just wanna-be guitar players who, when they were 14, got told “you’ll play bass”, and they spend the rest of their lives trying to get “the blowjob” (seriously, FZ has a whole chapter in his autobiography about this phenom). Look elsewhere Timmy, cuz 32nd row ain’t good enough to be your bitch.
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Military Discounts... Hu-Rah
Ahhh, one of our favorite topics: people who think they deserve free shit. We anticipate a lot of posts here, and those posts come from you, but to start it off we will go directly to the button-pusher: military guys who want a discount on a bike because they are in the military.
Listen, you’re over there fighting for us and we appreciate it and I’m sure it sucks. You know what else sucks? Exams. And studying for them. Soldier: “Do you have a program where a military man like me can afford one of your really expensive luxury bikes?” Yes…yes we do: University. It was hard but really fun. You should have gone.
We went to school, because…well, after you beat us out for the quarterback position and then were a douche, we decided that we don’t like team sports anymore and started taking AP classes. And then we figured out that going into the military seems like a bad idea if you don’t have to do it. And we put in countless miles on our bikes...in attire that everyone made fun of. In the middle of no-where woods. All to get away from the fact that your mindless-ass was banging the hottest chick in school. Well, I’m sorry your arm wasn’t good enough to get you to the NFL, but I’ll be damned if you’re going to get into my “geek sport,” years later, getting free shit from my company just because you now have to follow someone else’s orders to clean the latrine. I mean, you don't see a lot of people sitting in the middle of the desert wearing long-sleeved camos and pants and scooping up other people's shit. If you did, you wouldn't give them a free bike.
I wonder if other industries experience this. Does Aston Martin get letters from GI's on the order of, "I really loved driving my Mazda Miata all over the streets of my hometown in Florida, dreaming of someday owning one of your cars. Now that I'm stationed here, I'd really like for you to send me a Vanquish. I promise, I'll drive it a lot. It'll be inspirational for the troops!"
